I am creating this page to begin to capture my stories. Not the stories of reality, but the ones I make up to use as filters for my relationships. In the beginning, they may mostly be about my relationship with my husband, Eric. I have them about other people, too. The stories will appear as they come up in my life.
Human beings are meaning-making-machines. The first time I heard that, I was stunned. It was exactly what I do. Something happens – small or big. How does it fit into my larger story? I have to make it fit. When it doesn’t fit, I bend it to my will. I create a story to assimilate it into my existing larger story. It resides there as truth, no questioning it is allowed.
My friend, Chene Swart is a practitioner of Narrative Therapy. She was kind enough to practice her workshops on us – us being the A Small Group community in Cincinnati. My friend, Peter Block says things like “everything is a story”.
My intent is to name the story. Share the story. Then, write a new story that will be more life giving to me and those included in my stories.
In Brene Brown‘s new book, Rising Strong; she uses the language of story and how she is using it in both her personal and professional life. The power of sharing stories is it allows us to test them for validity. Hearing Brene’s interview with Chase Jarvis has inspired me to work on my stories. Taking ownership of my stories will allow me to let them go and create a new life giving story.
This may get messy as I am not sure how to organize it on this website. But for now, I’m most interested in working on my stories to free myself as I have allowed them to hold me hostage for too long.
I hope you will join me in this journey.
Much love to all of you as you explore your stories.
Pickles & Pomegranates Stories
The term Pickles & Pomegranates is a code phrase my husband and I use. We use it when something is happening between us that is pushing our hot buttons. You know what hot buttons are. Don’t you?
When either of us says, “this is a pickles and pomegranates moment for me. I need to come back later to talk about this. I will talk to you about this in the next 2 hrs, 12 hrs, 2 days”…. whatever is appropriate or needed for that person to process it. We agree to give each other space for this. Then, we come back together and share and listen to each other. This allows us to speak authentically about whatever it was, without moving to hurt, fear, and lashing out.
It works really well AND is so dependent on us doing the work of owning our stores; instead of our stories owning us.